1. Do you have any savings?
So this might sound like you’re only after his or her money but if you haven’t encountered financial bumps on the road yet, you’re likely to do so when you’re already sharing your life together. One of you might get fired or need a medical operation. You both might want to have kids one day or your car needs a major repair. Whether the incident is major or minor, you are most likely going to need money to get you through it. Without some savings, it’s all too easy to get into debt and strain your relationship because of it. If you find that your would-be spouse is not a saver, you could suggest a plan for you both to open a joint savings account that you can each contribute to every month.
2. Do you have any debt?
It’s time to own up on any financial obligations you may have to your future spouse. Whether you’re late on your credit card bills, have any personal loans, or other debt that you have, you should come clean. Remember that once you are married, you are also going to be sharing your financial life together as well. If you are the one with the debt, you owe it up to your beloved to be honest about the information and the things you are doing to rectify it. In case you are the one with the clean credit slate and your partner is having problems, discuss how he or she intends to pay off the debt and how you can help. By being open about these things, you avoid having to fight about debt—a potential relationship-breaker.
3. How many credit cards do you have and how are they used?
While you’re talking about debt, ask your partner how many credit cards he or she has and if these have ever been maxed out. You may also like to inquire whether he or she uses these cards for everyday expenses. At the most, financial experts recommend having no more than two credit cards as having more could make you more prone to debt, especially if you carry all of them with you and are an impulse-buyer. Talk this over with your spouse so that you can come together to an amicable arrangement that will strengthen, not weaken, your financial foundation.
4. What’s your credit score?
At this point, you should show each other copies of your credit reports and credit scores. These things matter because if you intend to get a house together or a new family car when you do get married, your spouse’s credit rating is going to matter. Your husband’s or wife’s low credit score could negatively impact your ability to get a competitive interest rate on your loans, for one. If your would-be spouse really has a major credit problem, you might consider postponing the marriage until after he or she has gone to counseling or has sorted his or her financial issues out. This does not mean that you are valuing money over love—you still offer your support while he or she is mending his or her finances—but you are merely setting a stronger foundation for your married life so you won’t be facing a lot of arguments and a potential divorce later on in the marriage.
5. What assets do you bring to the marriage?
You are going to be living together so you should know what the other is bringing to the union. Decide on the things you want to share together and the ones you want to keep for yourself or to the people that you want to support even before you have met your future spouse. You can always go into more detailed estate planning later on but for now, it is better for each one to know what you bring to the relationship.
6. What is your salary?
This is the starting point for your financial planning as a couple. When you know each other’s salaries, you are able to start putting together your budget and allocate funds for the projects you intend to undertake as a couple. Being transparent about how much you both earn is integral not only to your budget but to the trust you give each other.
7. How do we handle our finances?
Since you are going to be living in the same household, you should decide early on how to merge your finances. There are basically three ways to do so: 1) Separate; 2) Joint; 3) Mixed. When you choose to keep things separate, you’re basically keeping your salaries and all the expenses you share together are going to be divided in half. You pay your own debts and keep your own savings.
When you join your finances, you merge everything. You have a joint account where you direct both your salaries and get your expenses from there. You also open a joint savings account where you put money to each payday. One spouse’s debt is also the debt of the other spouse. In an ideal arrangement, you inform each other each time you want to take money from the account to spend for your wants not included in the budget.
In a mixed arrangement, you have a joint checking account for the expenses that you will share together, such as food, mortgage/rent, and utilities. However, you also keep a portion of your salary so you can spend it freely as you wish. Debts that you incur for yourself are also paid out of your own money and not from your joint account.
You will know which arrangement works best for you if you are open and candid with each other. By deciding early on how to handle your finances, you avoid confusion and frustration when you are already married.
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